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Esther Spurrill Jones. Powered by Blogger.
31 October 2012
For my final OctPoWriMo post this year, I had to try a Shadow Sonnet. I think it's appropriate today.

Quietly Give up the Light

Bite me, oh dark one; my love, I long for your bite.

Give me your blood, and my soul to you I will give.
Night falls around us, but you are one with the night.
Live you may not, but together forever we’ll live.

Hold me, oh dark one; I’m yours to have and to hold.
Fill me with fire until I have had my fill;
Cold is your skin, but soon I won’t feel the cold.
Still I will love you even when my heart is still.

To my friends I’ll be dead; to my family I’ll be dead too.
Will I miss them? You know, I believe that I will.
You’ll be my family; my only friend will be you.
So much that I have I will lose: I know it is so.

Might I forget the pain in my newfound might.
Light up my heart as I quietly give up the light.
30 October 2012
For today's prompt, we were asked to write about loss. I created the following Kyrielle about a friend.

You Were Mine

For Oliver.

When I first saw you, I was caught
By your blue eyes and hair so fine.
I fell in love upon the spot,
And for a short time, you were mine.

Together we would laugh and play;
Each night, together we would dine.
You’d watch for me at end of day,
And for a short time, you were mine.

You never should have died so young:
The number of your lives was nine.
I wept as to your paw I clung,
And for a short time, you were mine.




29 October 2012
Today's prompt asks "Who are you really?" If someone were to ask your friends and family, who would they say you are? Would they be right?

I decided to write a villanelle as it seemed to fit.




Parts of My Soul
Who am I really deep down inside?
If you asked my friends, what would they say?
Are there parts of my soul that I’ve tried to hide?

When strangers inquire, at times I have lied:
“I’m doing fine. I’m really okay.”
But who am I really deep down inside?

My surface is calm or rough, yet wide,
And beneath it can be bright or grey.
Are there parts of my soul that I’ve tried to hide?

Ask my family--ask my husband besides--
I may be quiet, but I know how to play.
Who am I really deep down inside?

When nervous, I’ve laughed; when happy, I’ve cried;
When something goes right, I shout: “Yay!”
Are there parts of my soul that I’ve tried to hide?

I am a gemstone with multiple sides;
I know how to sin and I know how to pray,
But who am I really deep down inside?
Are there parts of my soul that I’ve tried to hide?
So nice to see my brothers
So nice to see my nephews
So nice to see my sister
So nice to see my mom

But mom is sick
So sick
It’s hard to look at her
It’s hard to be with her
It’s hard to leave her

Why don’t we spend more time together?
Why did we wait ‘til now to see each other?
Driving into thunderheads
Clouds look like a wall
God’s artwork is amazing
26 October 2012
Today's prompt is forgiveness. Who do we need to forgive and who do we need to apologize to? I'm not one to hold a grudge, so I wrote a poem about apologizing. I'm Canadian, so I'm used to saying "I'm sorry" but how often do I really mean it?


I'm Sorry

To the boy who passed a note to me in English class:
I’m sorry I rolled my eyes and tossed it in the trash.
To the friend I spent every lunch hour with:
I’m sorry we lost contact after graduation.

To the first guy I kissed:
I’m sorry it didn’t work out.
To my parents who broke up:
I’m sorry you weren’t happy.

To my husband:
I’m sorry I’m not always easy to live with.
To my brothers:
I’m sorry I don’t call or write often.
To my sister:
I’m sorry I don’t visit.

To my Farmville friends:
I’m sorry I stopped playing.
To my Facebook friends:
I’m sorry if I sometimes spam your walls.

To anyone I ever hurt:
I’m sorry.
25 October 2012
Laughing together
Over nothing sometimes
Very happy together
Each day is better

I complete you and you complete me
Somehow two became one

Understanding
Sacrificing

Love is us
24 October 2012
Today's prompt asked us to "Fetch a book off your shelf, any book, and turn to a random page. Pluck out three words from the page, any page. Make those three words the subject or the inspiration or, perhaps, a character in your poem." I asked my husband Mark to grab a book for me, and he brought me a novel called "Lacey's Way" which made me laugh as it is a book I would never read. However, I wanted a challenge, so I opened it up and found the following words: "laugh," "cry," and "blood." I crafted the following cinquain from this inspiration.



Family
Laughing, crying
Blood, thicker than water
Kinship
23 October 2012
Today's prompt challenged us "to take your favorite, absolute favorite poem that you have written, and record yourself reading it... And then take that recording and post it on your page." It took a bit of work to find stock photos that (kinda) worked with mine, so I'm late posting this, but here it is:




22 October 2012

I hate being sick
I really wish I could stop coughing
I want to write a poem, but my brain isn’t working very well
It feels like my head is floating
And my nose is stuffed with cotton
It feels like I’m watching life instead of being involved
Outside, looking in
21 October 2012
Smart mouthed
Smart and smug
Smug guy
Smug that he is wise
Wise guy
Wise in his own eyes
Eyes that close
Eyes that don’t see
See reality
See the truth
Truth is not opinion
Truth is more than mere science
Science cannot prove anything
Science cannot explain everything
Everything is not yet dreamt of
Everything is more than your philosophy
Philosophy cannot dream
Philosophy cannot love
Love is immeasurable
Love is all you need
Need begets desperation
Need tells us we cannot do it alone
Alone and lonely
Alone forever
Forever and ever
Forever is real
Real and true
Real like facts
Facts and figures
Facts can mislead
Mislead us to destruction
Mislead our hearts
Hearts are delicate
Hearts can be broken
Broken sometimes helps us
Broken before rebuilding
Rebuilding our lives
Rebuilding our hope
Hope springs eternal
Hope, love, and faith
Faith lets us see
Faith gives us answers
Answers to our questions
Answers let us know
Know that we are meant for more
Know that we know little
Little thoughts
Little feelings
Thoughts...
Feelings...
20 October 2012
Today, I discovered a poetry form called The Blitz Poem, and I decided to write one.

Weird is good
Weird is normal
Normal is a lie
Normal is boring
Boring like no colour
Boring like vanilla
Vanilla gets a bad rap
Vanilla needs better press
Press a button
Press your clothes
Clothes make the man
Clothes make the woman
Woman will fight
Woman will roar
Roar for her rights
Roar for her children
Children grow up
Children leave home
Home is where the heart lives
Home is where I loosen up
Up to the rooftops
Up to the mountains
Mountains where the Yeti walks
Mountains where the snow falls
Falls on the fir trees
Falls on the cities
Cities full of noise
Cities full of life
Life is a mystery
Life is weird
Weird is what I am
Weird is different
Different is good
Different is power
Power to reach out
Power to change
Change isn’t easy
Change needs you
You can be a lighthouse
You can be a star
Star twinkle twinkle
Star light star shine
Shine in the darkness
Shine before men
Men can be different
Men can change
Change is good
Change is hard
Hard...
Good...
19 October 2012
I want to seize the day,
But it slips through my grasp.
The minutes rush away;
Nothing ever lasts.
18 October 2012

When a stranger asks me, “How are you?”
I smile and lie.
“I’m good.”
“I’m fine.”
“I’m doing well. And you?”

My mother told me, “Never lie.”
And yet I lie.
Don’t you?
17 October 2012
My mother is dying
I am lost and helpless and so alone
I don’t know what to do
16 October 2012
Today's prompt challenged us to pick a side on an issue. I decided to write on something that is very controversial but is personally very painful for me. Any attacks in the comments will be instantly deleted.
For more on my personal struggle, see OctPoWriMo 11 - Sometimes.


What Choice?

You say you're pro-choice?
Good for you.
I don't get that choice.
I'm like a starving person
Watching someone toss their leftovers.
I'd take them.
I'd take them all,
I'd love them all.
My choice means nothing though.
I still have no child.
15 October 2012

You’ve always been my biggest fan,
Though sometimes we didn’t get along.
You've always been there for me;
You tried to teach me right from wrong.

I hate that you are now so weak;
You always seemed so strong to me.
And I cannot be there for you;
I'm terrified of what might be.

The cancer stole your energy,
And now your heart is failing too.
How can a heart so big just fail?
It cannot fail--I can't lose you!
I forgot to do a poem yesterday, and this is why.


There is thick clouded glass before my eyes
My ears are full of cotton
A vise slowly tightens on my skull
My nose is a faucet
13 October 2012
Today, I wrote a ballad about my husband Mark. Warning: Mushy lovey dovey stuff follows.

All the time, my whole life through,
I was always looking for you.
And, though I didn’t know it then,
You were searching for me too.
I had given up on men,
Happy to be single when,
You showed up and changed my life;
You caused my barréd heart to open.
You taught me how to sing and laugh;
You gave me joy in place of strife;
I love you, and you love me;
You asked me to become your wife.
And now today I clearly see,
Now “you” and “I” are only “we,”
That you were always the one who
Was meant to be with me.
12 October 2012

When I read a poem, I want to be stirred.
When I read a poem, I want to feel.
When I read a poem, I don’t want to be bored.
11 October 2012
Today's prompt asked me to write about something I don't usually share with others, to dig deep and lay bare my heart. "Your written words give you power. Who knows, they may help give someone else power, too." Those family and friends I am closest to already know this, but I haven't written poetry about it before.




Sometimes babies make me cry

I’ve always dreamed I’d be a mom
I once said I wanted twelve
A house filled with love

I dreamed of love, romance, and marriage
I dreamed of babies

Now I have love, romance, and marriage
Yet no babies

Doctor visits, tests, and drugs
Invasive, uncomfortable, frustrating
Expensive
Every month, I hope and pray that this is it
This is the month
Every month, it isn’t

I hate myself when I am jealous of mothers
I hate myself when I am miserable to others

Some days are better than other days
Some days I smile and feel the hope
Some days I just know that it will happen

But sometimes I get so angry
Sometimes I am depressed
And sometimes babies make me cry
10 October 2012



Just five more minutes, Mom. I will awake
In time to eat and brush my teeth, I swear.
Aw, come on. Why can’t I get a break?
I want to sleep some more. It isn’t fair!

Hit snooze and snooze again just one more time;
My bed so soft and warm I hate to rise.
I hate nothing like I hate that chime
That calls me to be healthy, wealthy, and wise.

I sometimes like to rise before the sun,
To sit in quiet while all others sleep,
And not to think of what needs to be done,
To pray the peace I find then I can keep.

But most days, coffee is my closest friend.
I wish my sleep would never have to end.
09 October 2012


First, the flute finds its voice
Clearly, sweetly, soaring sound
Drums begin, a beat so bold
Teasing and tempting your twitching toes
Trumpets up and take the lead

Pure and true the piano plays
While the guitar gently weeps
And all at once it’s all a wall
Of sound and song and harmony
08 October 2012
I seriously considered skipping today. It's Thanksgiving and I think I deserve to goof off. But then this haiku popped into my head.


I don't work today
Turkey, pie, and family
I love long weekends
07 October 2012

For as long as I remember
She was there
Doing everything together
Bestest friends
Sure, we had our fights and blowups
Who doesn’t?
But she is always there for me
And I for her
Though now we live so far apart
I miss her
You’ll always be my closest friend
My sister
06 October 2012

When I was a child, I wanted to be a nurse
My mother had been a nurse and I wanted to be like her
She was my hero

When I was a child, I wanted to be a mom
I was the oldest of eight, but I wanted sixteen
I love a full house

When I was a child, I wanted to be a writer
My sister and I were always making up stories
We still do
05 October 2012

Thank God it’s Friday
The weekend is almost here
Yet, I love my job
04 October 2012


Sometimes my life is like a fairy tale
Some days I win, while other days I fail
There are days it is a comedy
At other times, it seems a tragedy
03 October 2012
I was surfing the net (is that phrase still in vogue? maybe I'm dating myself) when I discovered a poetry form I hadn't heard of before: the Haibun. I was fascinated by this form, and had to try my hand at it.



Questions and Answers


We often wonder “Why are we here?” and “What is the meaning of life?” The answer, I have heard--to life, the universe, and everything--is 42.

What is the question?
Now, that is a good question.
Only God knows that.
02 October 2012
The Sonnet is probably my favourite poetry form. I love the musicality of it. Yesterday’s poem was an English (or Shakespearean) sonnet. Today, I’m going to try an Italian (or Petrarchan). The Italian sonnet is much more difficult, as every line rhymes with at least one other line.





Dreams

I’ve always dreamed I’d one day be a mom.
Yes, I’d like to be successful too:
To see my name in print would be so cool,
To reach the world with words, and to become
Alive and free, no longer cold and numb.
I love to dream up worlds: make something new,
To ask the questions “Where?” and “Why?” and “Who?”
Yet, times I’d rather change a baby’s bum.

I believe I’ll realise my dreams,
Although they seem so far away right now.
“Nothing is impossible!” I scream;
My barbaric yawp drowns out the “How?”
And all I see is distant joyful gleams.
01 October 2012

What is it that makes a new moon “new”?
Is it like the first page of a book,
Before the story starts, before “Page 1,”
That blank white sheet it seems words have forsook?

Or maybe it’s the writer’s blank notebook
Ready for adventures to begin,
Waiting for the pen to start the tale
Of love and loss and epic fights to win.

And at the end when all is said and done
The full moon fills the nighttime sky with light,
The story fills the heart and soul with joy,
And for a fleeting moment, all is right.

But then the cycle must needs start anew:
The moon will wane; the joy will fade too.